The Truth, and His Redeeming Love

It was incredibly nerve-wracking. Jason and I, along with Crispin, Duncan, Liam and Juliet, sat across from the reporter while the photographer clicked away. I feared that the extra weight I had gained would show up in the photographs. I worried that Liam would throw a fit, or that Jason and I might accidentally reveal identifying information about our foster baby. I prayed that we would only reveal the love of Jesus and shine the light of our good Father.

We had agreed to be interviewed for a promotional article about our favorite foster care and adoption agency, Agape. We were happy to do it, and we would still do it again. We believe in living transparent lives, so that people can see God at work in our home, helping us through the mundane, and blessing us whether it is a time of feast or famine for our family. We also try to be transparent about our sorrows, because we want to show the world that while Christians have great sorrows from time to time, God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:17-19), and is our great comforter (Isaiah 49:13). Christians can weather the hard times because the God who created the world is the same God who helps us open our eyes when we are too afraid to do so on our own.

But the reporter - who was kind, gracious, and not intimidating at all - asked the question I secretly worried she would ask: why did you want to be a foster parent from such a young age? Did I look like a deer in the headlights when she asked?

The truth is, that I worry about exactly how much of the truth to tell. I just do not want to hurt anyone. But hear this beautiful statement of praise: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." II Corinthians 1:3-4

How beautiful is that? I am spurred on by the phrase, "so that we can comfort those in any trouble..." I want to be a comfort to others. Comfort is healing, comfort is loving, comfort is compassion in action. And I believe, as I have heard it stated so many times lately, that there can be no true redemption story if there is nothing from which to be redeemed.

So why did I want to be a foster parent from a young age? I wanted to be a foster parent because I grew up in a home that was not happy. It is difficult for me to type the words. But this is an important truth. I am no longer angry at anyone for this; I truly believe that my parents did the very best they could with the skills and resources they had. They tried to to create some loving, lasting memories, and I am grateful for that. But the truth is, that none of us took much joy in each other's presence, and there was a great deal of strife, anger and resentment on a daily basis. It was not a happy home.

But today, as a wife, mother, sister, and daughter, I would not change anything. Those difficult times planted a deep desire in me from the time I was at least 7 or 8. I distinctly remember thinking, "I want to have a happy home. I want to give my children growing-up years that they can remember with joy, and I want to provide a loving home for other children, like me."

I know that most children who have broken homes also vow something similar; I will never let my children go through this, or I will do things differently. And most of those children also grow up to be adults who try, like I do, to provide happy and loving homes. But we never know what circumstances of life will take us off of that path. And that is where God steps in.

My parents did something amazing, even in the midst of the strife. For my first fifteen years, they made certain that I never missed an opportunity to hear the word of God. They had me in worship services, Bible classes, youth devotionals, Christian camps, every Christian environment imaginable no fewer than 3 times a week. For fifteen years. I am astonished and amazed at that feat. They really tried hard.

But it was God who redeemed me. He has guided my steps as I have trusted in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6), and though my home as a child was sad, he has helped me create a loving and happy home for my children and for other children in need. God continually comforts me. By allowing us to experience fostering and adoption, He has comforted me with His love. He shows me how much He loves me when I pour out love for the children that enter my home, whether they are my children, or birthed by someone else. Oh, how I long for children to know the love of Jesus, and the fullness of a loving, Godly home.

I marvel at the fact that blessings and joy are often born out of great sorrows. Isn't that just one of the incredible things about God? That he can take difficult times, and sad times, and times of sickness, and even death, and ONLY HE can create beauty, love, and joy where sorrow once reigned. Oh, that we might all trust in the name of the Lord our God! Oh, that we might all believe in Him, and His son, and know the joy and freedom of walking in the light. How great is our God!

My desire is this: that you will know the comfort of God, that you will know He loves us from everlasting to everlasting, that if we trust in Him and call upon His name, He will guide us, He will be with us, and He is mightier than any terror the enemy lays upon us. He is God almighty, the Lord of lords, He is the King of kings, and He longs for us to turn to Him, and serve Him in love and thanksgiving. He is the Great Redeemer - and He has a plan for us! May you turn to God in your times of darkness. May the sorrows in your life become tiny like seeds, but grow into great and beautiful blessings as you continually seek His grace and favor.

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God;

He is the faithful God,

keeping His covenant of love

to a thousand generations

of those who love Him

and keep His commandments."

Deuteronomy 7:9

Adopting Juliet - Wednesday Edition

Today we were scheduled to have a full day of visitation with Juliet. We picked her up at 9 am, and returned her at 5 pm. It went so well! She is a delight! We went to a mall and found a baby boutique; I was able to wear her comfortably in the sling, then we brought her back for a nap, lunch, and some playtime, and then received a call from our agency to go back and sign a few more papers.

By noon tomorrow, our ICPC application should be in Montgomery. Do I have any readers whose BFF works in the adoption department for Alabama's DHR? Just kidding! We will be waiting for approval from them and from Texas, and approval could come as early as Friday, or as late as next week (or later, worst case scenario). We cannot leave until we have permission of both Alabama and Texas. That is God's part to handle; I don't think there is anything else we can do but wait.

Tonight is Juliet's last night with her foster parents, and tomorrow morning, the agency releases her to us!! I am sad for her foster parents, because I understand what it feels like to let a little one go, but I am praying that God comforts them and blesses them with many more years to serve Him. They have kept over 120 foster children throughout the last 42 years. I am amazed every time I am around them because they are such incredible people, such giants for His kingdom, yet live an unassuming, quiet and down-to-earth life. They exemplify James 3:13, "[w]ho is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

I have learned so much on this trip, and I imagine I have so much more to learn. One thing I know: God is in control. The earth and everything in it belongs to Him, and God is always the victor. With God in control, I have no fear of the future; I can "laugh at the days to come."

Thank you to those of you who have read along and prayed us and Juliet through this journey. My prayer is that in return, your hearts will be filled with more love, more compassion, and more willingness to love the precious little ones all around us. Grace and peace to you and your family!

Adoption with God - Tuesday Edition

"In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Eph. 1:5-6

There is a parallel between God, the father, adopting us as His children, and between adults adopting a child. In both cases, the greater provides for the lesser. Love is bestowed upon the adopted. Care and support are given. The parent in both situations does most of the work, while the job of the adoptee is mainly to receive the benefits of the relationship. But there is one exception to that relationship, and it comes at the very beginning. In order for us to become the children of God, we must submit to His will for our lives. We must sacrifice our will for the cause of His kingdom. In return, the blessings are enormous. I believe the same is true with adoption. At some point very soon, Juliet will have to submit to our will in order to truly become our child.

Today was another day of smiles and laughter between us and Juliet as we became acclimated to each other. We are following a carefully crafted bonding plan designed for a 9-month old child. Bonding is the first crucial act that must take place between parent and child in order for the child to develop trust, which is the foundation for all emotional growth. She must learn to trust that we will feed her when she is hungry, change her when she is dirty, and help her sleep when she is tired. She must learn that Jason and I are her primary caregivers, and that we are to be trusted above anyone else.

For that reason, for the next 6 months or so, only Jason and I can feed her, change her, put her to bed, and meet her physical and emotional needs. For the last 2 months, her foster family has met those needs, and she has responded well, considering the fact that she came to them with an aversion to being held and touched. Our baby girl is desperately in need of loving parents. We are so grateful and honored that God chose us to be those loving parents to Juliet. We are actually still in awe of the fact that WE were chosen for her!

Today we were able to have three separate sessions with Juliet. The first two went well, and the third began well, but this evening we tried to put her to bed, and it was a bit challenging. She simply could not submit her will to our plan, despite the fact that she clearly needed to sleep. Thankfully, her Mimi (foster mama) was able to step in and help, but it keeps bringing my mind back to our Father. How often do we fight His good and perfect plan, His will for our lives? He wants the best for us, He knows the best for us, but still we argue. "Lord, I want this NOW. I think it should happen THIS way. Lord, I don't want to go there."

Wow. Lord, you are awesome the way you reveal your wisdom, your power, and your might. Thank you for the many gifts you have given us! Thank you for your son, for my husband, for my children! Thank you for making each of my children wonderful and special, and a delight to my life! Lord, I have already become your child and I have already submitted my life to you, but today Lord, I want to do it again, and refresh my promise to you! I submit to YOUR plan for my life, to YOUR timetable, to YOUR decisions. Whatever YOU want, Lord, that's what I want, too! I trust that you are in control of this adoption of Juliet, that you are in control of the paperwork, and that you will make your will known in a mighty and powerful way. I trust in YOU. And one day, Lord, I know Juliet will trust us, too, by your grace and mercy. Lord, how I love you!

"I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name, I will lift up my hands." Psalm 63:4